What my neighbors think/know about me:

Despite living in a duplex where two bedroom walls and one bathroom wall are shared, I hear precious little from THE OTHER SIDE (capitalized for effect). What I do hear leads me to believe that Michelle on THE OTHER SIDE shares my sense of feng shui and put her bed exactly where I put mine, but the mirror-image. What leads me to believe this? Waking up to the sound of my neighbor banging just as I've fallen into a REALLY NICE, DEEP SLEEP. Super. Anyway, I've been ruminating on what my neighbors might hear from me and what it might lead them to believe.

What my neighbor hears:
1) The sound of fingernail clippers four times a week.
2) The same CD played over and over.
3) "STUPID FUCKING KHAKIS!"
4) My alarm clock in the morning, approximately 5 times.

What my neighbor therefore believes:
1) That my fingernails grow really fast.
2) That I only have one CD and questionable taste in music.
3) That I am in a fight with a pair of pants.
4) That I am an asshole.

The veracity of their deductions:
1) Not true, I am just really anal about the length of my fingernails.
2) Sort of true, I listen to some really lame crap sometimes.
3) Yes, I hate khakis and ironing khakis and wearing khakis and I am going to murder their inventor in their sleep with my unironed khakis.
4) Also true.

You're right, 27 year olds do have good judgment

Things I told people whilst celebrating my 27th birthday:

1) I am getting married tomorrow.
2) I am pregnant.
3) My name is Lynette.

Things that I took from Tiny's Tavern whilst celebrating my 27th birthday:

1) A framed picture of someone's dog.