Year 1, Week 5: It's raining. Shocker.

Good afternoon, you reprobates! I greet you from the rainy city of Nirvana and Doc Martens where I have discovered that just as there are those trying to bring back grunge, there are those trying to bring back ROLLER BLADING. (Stink, you may need to pack yours when you visit). And these folks are not roller blading ironically, they are doing it seriously, smoothly, effortlessly, and last but not least, FUCKING RIDICULOUSLY. Men and women alike, young and old. This abomination of wheeled locomotion extends to many demographics. But I digress...

I don't have any specific theme or announcement for today's post. But I do have this modern marvel of pop culture and advertising, the world's most beautiful twins separated at birth:


Pit Bull + Bud Light = My own version of heaven. I could not be happier. The two things in life that ostensibly give me more joy than anything else. Well, that's hyperbole, but you get what I'm saying.

Lately I have been seeing lots of nasty things going on with ladies' hair. Gross weaves (girl in stats class who smells like a hangover), gross bumpits (girl on the bus who pulled her sleeve over her hand to hold onto the handle...yeah, lady, cuz you're A LOT cleaner than the rest of us). The trick is to capture these on film without being a complete a**hole. Perhaps I need my own bumpit that I could hide a camera in.

And a moment of unabashed pride: I AM IN FIRST PLACE IN MY FANTASY FOOTBALL LEAGUE. I wouldn't be so absolutely thrilled about this, except for the number of male misogynists who are also in the league. There are at least four of them (no Big Easy, not you). And I am beating all of them. And everyone else for that matter! I fear my reign will come to an end with week 9, but whatever, I'm amazing and so is Fast Freddie Jackson.