Why I hate the PNW

The other day at Green Lake park, a beautiful idyll of water and lawn and rollerbladers nestled in NW Seattle, I witnessed something that made me want to blow something up (preferably something combustible): there was a couple doing yoga whilst on their paddle boards. REALLYAREYOUKIDDINGMERIGHTNOW? One yuppie northwest sport wasn't enough? You had to downward dog on a paddleboard? These are the kind of people that I imagine trying to rock climb with their bicycle strapped to their back while drinking kale juice. These are also the kind of people that make me want to eat as much gluten as possible. However, I'm sure they're at home all like "did you see that girl drinking light beer AND watching baseball?" However, to prove that I do not hate yoga, I saw the coolest example of someone doing yoga in an unexpected place when a couple weeks ago at a bar by Safeco Field: a man (who I'm pretty sure was still drunk from the night before) did an impressive chair pose while yelling "CHAIR POSE!!!!" at the top of his lungs. This is the kind of person you expect to see being escorted naked off of the field during the 7th inning. Despite my aimless ramblings, my life here in gorgeous Rain City continues to be purposeful and amazing. Really the only thing missing is a French bakery that's closer to my apartament (you can file that comment under "shit white people say"). I hope you all have a great weekend. I leave you with this:

Of course

Of course I get a flat the ONLY TIME EVER IN MY LIFE that I ride my bike without the necessary components for changing a flat bicycle tire. It was not a disaster, I was within walking distance of a bike shop. But it was the first truly awesome day so everyone and their annoying children decided that today was the day to buy a bike. So I buy the tube and ask for levers and a pump so I can change the flat. Sounds simple. No. I get all situated and put a little bit of air in the new tube only to realize it has the wrong stem size and won't fit through the hole in the rim (uh, that's what she said?). Great. Back inside, to get another tube. Back outside where I start changing the flat again and this time Mr. I'm-S00000-helpful-and-tattooed-bike-mechanic offers to help me. Great. Fine. Change my flat because you think I don't know how. So, he brings the tire inside and says, "I'm just going to put a little more air in the tube to give it some shape" (something I totally know because of my awesome friend Cribzilla and the tire changing tutorial she gave me in the garage). So, fast forward and home slice is REALLY struggling with it. I mean, it is now taking him way longer than it would have taken me, which is OK, cuz I'm not getting black shit on my so cute summer dress. He continues to struggle and another bike mechanic comes up and tells him the EXACT thing: "Dude, you just need to put a little more air into it to give it some shape." HAAA!!! VINDICATION IS MINE!!! (I should pause here to say that everyone in the shop was super nice and they totally have my business in the future.) I miss you all terribly, dear readers. I hope there is sunshine where you are. I'll write more now that I have a lot of work to avoid. MUAH.