Why I hate the PNW

The other day at Green Lake park, a beautiful idyll of water and lawn and rollerbladers nestled in NW Seattle, I witnessed something that made me want to blow something up (preferably something combustible): there was a couple doing yoga whilst on their paddle boards. REALLYAREYOUKIDDINGMERIGHTNOW? One yuppie northwest sport wasn't enough? You had to downward dog on a paddleboard? These are the kind of people that I imagine trying to rock climb with their bicycle strapped to their back while drinking kale juice. These are also the kind of people that make me want to eat as much gluten as possible. However, I'm sure they're at home all like "did you see that girl drinking light beer AND watching baseball?" However, to prove that I do not hate yoga, I saw the coolest example of someone doing yoga in an unexpected place when a couple weeks ago at a bar by Safeco Field: a man (who I'm pretty sure was still drunk from the night before) did an impressive chair pose while yelling "CHAIR POSE!!!!" at the top of his lungs. This is the kind of person you expect to see being escorted naked off of the field during the 7th inning. Despite my aimless ramblings, my life here in gorgeous Rain City continues to be purposeful and amazing. Really the only thing missing is a French bakery that's closer to my apartament (you can file that comment under "shit white people say"). I hope you all have a great weekend. I leave you with this: