This one's for you, pal.

A text exchange between me and my bestie/BFF/BFF4EVA:

Me: What are you going to wear tonight????

BFF: I'm going to kill you.

Me: Well I will kill you if we are wearing the same thing.

BFF: Im not worried about that.

Me: Maybe you should be.

BFF: Oh are you planning on wearing yoga pants and an oversize t-shirt?

Me: Now I am!

BFF: I hate you.

Scene. 

Happy new year, everyone. 

Ruh roh.

So remember a few blog posts back where I wrote a really asshole strongly worded open letter to Comcast?  The gist of it was that some jerk lizard was parking the company van on my block for his booty calls and taking up precious parking space.  This prompted a reply to my blog from someone at Comcast who trolls blogs for mentions of the EVIL MONOPOLISTIC BILIOUS SOUL SUCKING CORPORATION THAT IS COMCAST.  My intention with that blog post was to vent, not to get anyone fired, so I did not reply.  Also, it turns out that I was, cough cough, wrong.  Home slice from Comcast actually lives on my block, so I guess he can park on this street.  Although I still call bullshit on putting the cones around the van.  Flash forward to yesterday morning when I was leaving for work and I saw the driver of the Comcast van.  And he's pretty hot. And he smiled at me, so ostensibly he's a nice person and we're going to married and then I'm going to have to tell him about the blog post and then we'll probably get separated but then maybe we'll get back together and have adorable little babies who come out of my good time genetically programmed to set up a wireless router.

So do you think I've mentioned Comcast enough times to get them to give me free ESPN, ESPN 2, Fox Sports 1, and Root Sports for the remainder of football season?

Calling bullshit.

I have two things on my mind: one, whoever broke into my apartment and stole my deoderant can go to hell.  (And by 'hell', I mean that godawful shopping center, University Village.  I hope this blog comes up when people google "university village."  University Village shopping center provides umbrellas to its shoppers so that they're precious highlighted hair won't get wet when they go from Restoration Hardware to Lulu Lemon to Starbucks to Hanna Anderson to Patagonia to FroYo.)

ANYWAY...WHO HAS MY FREAKING DEODERANT?

Second thing on my mind: stupid fucking Movember.  From what I gather from my sources (my sources are mostly Twitter  and what I overhear on the bus), there is a month where men don't shave and then they are celebrated and adored for it and also this has something to do with their prostate.  As someone whose entire sex is subjected to the belittling "support" for breast cancer awareness via athletes wearing neon pink and teenagers wearing 'I heart boobies' bracelets, I object. Strongly. But I guess I shouldn't be surprised: our culture and mainstream media sanctioning and praising men's lack of attention to hygiene and/or grooming norms in order to support a deadly cancer while a FAR MORE WIDESPREAD cancer that affects woman is supported by efforts that are overtly linked to femininity and/or sexuality is unfortunately not shocking.  Please let me know when I get to stop shaving something and it will be both socially acceptable and a philanthropic act of benevolence.

Shit, I just got political up in my own blog. 

(This post brought to you by graduate school.  And caffeine. And my feminist beliefs for which I will not apologize.)