Put me in coach!!!

Alright, as penance for never ever blogging, I plan to reveal several embarrassing things about myself in order that you might keep reading: 1) I go tanning. At a place called Seattle Sun. "Seattle Sun" is one of the better oxymorons I've ever heard in my life. It is staffed by people that cannot legally purchase alcohol, but they are just so PERKY and FRIENDLY. Also, going tanning is somehow positively correlated with my self-esteem that is otherwise fucked up beyond repair. Also, I've decided that because it makes me sweat so much in a 7 minute period, it's like the most toxic detox ever. And that makes me happy. 2) I am bad at bowling. 3) I am even worse at being bad at something graciously. 4) All of my passwords involve really stupid combinations of childhood pet names and childhood addresses. Go nuts with that one, internet. 5) I have toenail fungus. But only in one toenail. The other toenails have evolved and are now impenetrable by this nasty fungus that I blame on someone whose name rhymes with Cave Cominguez. Ok, I cannot possibly divulge anything else.